A Postmodern CSI
by Brelli
Summary: A postmodern attempt at resolving the GS relationship
1. The now infamous scene

A/N This is my first CSI fic, it's also the first time I've posted here. I am studying postmodern literature at the moment and this is my attempt at writing in that style. For those unfamiliar with this genre, it attempts to confront the reader and plays with narrative conventions. I do not write very often, especially not in this genre. Also, I am Australian and therefore I apologise for any grammar or spelling that is different due to its Australian nature. I hope you enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with CSI (or the briefly mentioned Alias). I am receiving no financial gains from this story. Etc.  
  
Chapter 1: The Long-awaited, now-infamous scene  
  
She sat serenely on the on the floor of her apartment, her back against the counter, the last cold beer in her hand. The boxes piled high around her embodied the finality of her decision. She was leaving. As she drew the cold bottle to her lips, her mind wandering over her time in Vegas, allowing her lips to curl into the remnants of a once wide, exuberant smile, a soft, almost imperceptible knock sounded on her door. She took a long slow sip from the neck of the bottle, hoping that if she ignored the timid sound, it would go away, leave her to her silent contemplations.  
  
On the other side, the rain poured down, occasionally accentuated by the fierce lightning and thunder of the storm that mirrored the mood of the man by her door. He hesitantly brought his fisted hand to the foreign wood and made contact. He was unsure how to proceed. He did not know what to expect. Had she been right, would he be too late? He had still not figured 'this' situation out but this time he knew he needed to do more than give her a plant. He was not sure what, he was not sure why.  
  
After what seemed like an ever-present eternity, the physical barrier separating the two worlds revealed a crack as the light from the inside and the outside melded. She had sensed it would be him yet she was still forced to inwardly curse herself as a combination of surprise and pleasure coursed through her body at the sight of the man who had held her captive for so long. As they each stared into the deep swirling orbs that were the compelling eyes of their counterpart, all inhibitions disappeared. Slowly but surely the gap between their faces lessened as they leaned in to break yet another barrier of their relationship. As the distance almost miraculously disappeared and their freshly moistened lips made their initial chaste contact, several sparks flew between their bodies. The enchanting music of a mellow chart-topper that had been surreptitiously playing over this encounter faded, making way for the theme song and credits.  
  
As the last images of the actors and their names assault your screen, you subconsciously notice your favourite actors Jorja Fox and William Peterson are introduced as special guests. Your brain does not compute this information and its significance is momentarily lost on you. You are too preoccupied by the long awaited scene you have just witnessed. You cannot believe that after no previous indication your fanfiction is coming to life on the screen before you. In the back of your mind you realise this does not feel right, the people you have grown to love seem out of character, OOC, the three letters we dread reading in any review yet ignore in any summary. Yet, you do not care, you realise, these characters are simply what the writers make of them and need only be linked by the familiar face behind them each week. You no longer have time to think about this as the light comes up on the night shift gang awaiting Grissom and their assignments. You drink in this information, still on an emotional high created by the possibilities of the previous scenes. You are confused and annoyed by this sudden and violent deviation in plot until you notice three small words at the bottom of the screen in a colour too light to read clearly, "Five days earlier". That little reserve in the back of your mind, reminds you again that this is an uncommon ploy for CSI, it seems more like an Alias storyline and you briefly consider checking your tv guide to make sure you are where you want to be. That thought is quickly pushed away, your brain focussing only on the need to gain as much knowledge as possible regarding the now infamous scene. You run through a myriad of options of where this could lead, where this could have come from. You decide the only way to find out is to continue to watch.

TBC...


	2. The basement crimescene

**A/N**: Thankyou heaps to anyone reading this and especially to those who left a review. This is mainly a learning experience for me and I am so very grateful for any feedback. I have to warn you, I don't like this chapter as much so I won't be surprised if you have the same reaction. If there is anyone out there who knows anything about post-modern literature I would love to know your reaction to this fanfic. If anyone is interested in some postmodern texts some PM writers I can think of include Margaret Atwood (the Blind assassin, the handmaid's tale), Italo Calvino (If on a Winter's night a traveller) (anyone watch alias, Vaughn was reading Calvino on the plane) and John Fowles (the French lieutenant's woman) Buffy and Alias are PM tv shows and Tarantino films are also PM. Other PM films include memento and the opposite of sex. There are a lot of texts out there that contain elements of postmodernism without being overt.  
  
**Chapter 2: The Basement Crime Scene**  
  
Finally able to concentrate on the bright colourful combination of light before you, forming the engrossing picture you are avidly viewing, you settle down to watch as Grissom enters the break room. Before crossing the thresh-hold he discreetly surveys his surroundings. No matter how many times he enters a room he can not turn off his CSI intuition. Nothing seems out of place. Catherine and Warrick are chatting quietly together, perhaps about their last case. Nick is impatiently waiting for his coffee to brew and Sara... Despite her head being bent down in the latest journal she could find, she notices his gaze. Her head tentatively turns and their eyes lock for a brief moment. Unable to maintain it, for reasons he himself, let alone The Author, is not sure of, he looks down to the papers in his hands, crosses into the break room, makes his presence known to the group and begins to hand out the assignments. You can't remember the exact delegations but you know that finally, Grissom has placed himself with Sara. Your surprise is not the only one evident.  
  
It cuts to Sara and Grissom at their crime scene. There is a dead body lying on the floor of a dark uninhabitable apartment basement. It reminds you of a recent horror film, perhaps they used the same sets. Grissom is bent over the body with his flashlight, mentally cataloguing the information before him, pausing every so often to bag fibres and other such items. Sara is taking photographs. At first glance, it appears the victim is a male in his mid to late thirties with a blunt force trauma to the back of his head. We can almost see the wheels turning Sara's mind. We are sure she has formulated an accurate impression of this incident however we know she will not share it, just yet. She has learnt her lesson well, never jump to conclusions, much less voice them, especially in the presence of her teacher. They work in silence until suddenly Grissom lifts his head to look at Sara.  
  
"I think we need to talk"  
  
"I'm not sure if I want to" she replies lifting head from behind the camera lens. Their eyes meet, each attempting to read the face of the other. Their success, they fear, they will never learn.  
  
Both their heads return to their previous positions, eyes downcast, collecting their clues.  
  
In a quiet, almost imperceptible tone (similar to that in "the now infamous scene") Grissom pleads, "Please don't leave"  
  
The scene shifts to the other case. Typical. A very exciting drug related triple homicide with gang links and suspected sexual assault. As You, The Viewer and You, The Reader, like The Author, are interested solely in the relationship blossoming between our two favourite 'geeks' we will skip those scenes. (There is a significant amount of scepticism leading you to believe that The Author simply can not or does not feel like writing this extra information which would invariably lead to a greater resemblance to the original, that is CSI)  
  
So we move back to our basement crime-scene. You can almost see the tension in the air. By this time our body has been removed and the two CSI's are painstakingly gathering all the evidence present. Finger prints are lifted. A shoe print cast is made. Blood is collected for DNA analysis. Everything is back to business. Subtleties in their body language visible solely to the well trained eye are the only indications of a betrayal of their true relationship. They pack up their field kits and head towards the stairs, toward the light, their car, the lab. Grissom lingers slightly, over a blood spot in order to conceal the chivalrous nature of letting Sara leave first. He does not want her to think negatively of him, yet he is an old- fashioned man set in his ways.  
  
Before fading to the first add-break, we are again shown another scene involving the developments of their team-mates' triple homicide and some equally important developments in the relationship between Catherine and one of the other male CSI's. You decide you will pay more attention to this second storyline on another viewing. It will prove useful later on in the show. You are recording this episode precisely for that purpose. That thought brings you to wish you could fast-forward past the ads now. You begin to wonder if in fact these breaks are useful in order to build suspense. Your impatience wins out as you are forced to endure yet another pointless commercial while you wait.  
  
**A/N 2:** Next chapter we return from commercials. In Australia the last ad in a segment is either for the product sponsoring the show or for another programme on the same channel. Is there a common ad at the end of the segment just before CSI returns?? 


	3. A somewhat Awkward Scene

**A**/**N** Well I got another part out. I tried to have a little more character interaction in this part and less postmodernism. I've also upped the rating to PG. I'm not really sure about the rating system but I think that should be appropriate. I'd like to give a special thanks to Butterflied777 for helping me out with the last advertisement thing. As always, I hope you enjoy.

**The somewhat awkward scene**  
Finally the new(s) update begins. Never before have you felt so excited by the presentation of war, corruption and other such seemingly everyday events. You know now that you are one step closer finding out how and why that 'now infamous scene' came to be. You realise you probably should have listened to the information provided by the rather handsome reporter but right now, fiction seems so much more important and realistic. After an aerial, panning shot of the bright activity, that is night-time in Las Vegas, you are brought back to the crime-lab. More specifically, Doc Robbin's morgue. He is explaining to you just how the victim died. A graphic representation, that once would have made you cringe and cover your eyes, only to peak through your fingers, accompanies his dialogue. You are intrigued. Perhaps you might like to become a forensic pathologist, at least until professional fan fiction reader, naturally involving all relevant viewing – as research, of course – becomes a viable form of employment. Another tension filled moment occurs as their gaze momentarily locks. His deep blue eyes pierce her dark brown orbs. It goes unnoticed by the good doctor. You wonder if you are reading too much into the situation in you eagerness for something, anything to happen. You shrug the thought off, unaware of Barthes death of the author theory, convincing yourself that the writers, colloquially referred to as 'the Powers that Be' are in complete control, contriving all nuances purposely. That annoying voice that has been creeping into your head more and more often, particularly during this episode, briefly contemplates that it is not the writers but how the actors have interpreted the directions. You decide it does not matter. You are convinced the moment has occurred and shall accordingly treasure it, at least until a more important one. You wish, not for the first time, that you were able to simply view the episode without analysing the significance of each moment.  
  
They thank the Doctor, he pulls the white sheet back over the victims head and we follow the pair back into the halls of the CSI crime lab.  
  
"How are those fibre samples coming along?" Grissom asks her, unable to stand the silence that has yet again engulfed them, for a moment longer than necessary. It is no longer a comfortable silence like that of years past and he misses that.  
  
"I sent them to trace. They haven't paged me back yet. I'll go check on them if you'd like. I wouldn't mind looking at them myself" She gave him an impish, half-grin, her teeth just appearing. She too felt awkward and realised this was a subconscious attempt to get away from him. She had tried. She reasoned that was all she could do. The ball, so to speak, had been in his court for far too long. It was time for her to find a new opponent, one not afraid to play past warm-up. One unwilling to forfeit on the off chance he might lose. One who would realise that the game could be fun, regardless of the outcome.  
  
He simply nodded, having no reason to stop her. He headed toward his office. He needed to think and new the mindless activity of overdue paperwork would enable him to do just that.  
  
You have decided you must be very good visual reader in order to infer all this from a few facial expressions and camera angles. There are many signifiers your subconscious has picked out and linked to past occasions when similar situations/expressions/colours and the like have been used.  
  
I should also mention here that the show is about to cut to another segment involving the other case. You are pleased to realise that another case, ordinarily requiring, weeks if not months, will yet again be solved in the space of approximately 44 minutes, disregarding advertisements and other storylines.  
  
She is standing in his doorway, a file in her hand. She has her trademark 'I've found the missing link' smile plastered across her face. Much to her dismay, she is still eager to please Grissom, if only in her work. Doorways seem to hold a special significance to you now. Something is about to happen. Grissom looks up from his papers, pushes his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose and waits for her to reveal the contents of the file. Her excitement is contagious and he finds this terrifying as he attempts to subvert his emotions. A practice he is almost used to.  
  
"We've got them. Those fibres were from rare Asian rugs. There is only one dealer here in Vegas. We also got a to the foreign hair found. It belonged to one Mr Hoyle, the proprietor. Brass is getting a warrant. Let's go."  
  
Unable and unwilling to contain the excitement that had rubbed off on him and increased with the possibility of another catch, he smiles. He stands and they head out together.  
  
You pause the tape. You like that scene. You want to watch it again. You rewind and play.  
  
She stands in the doorway, watching him. His head is buried in his file. He appears oblivious to her presence but she knows better. She wait for him to acknowledge her. She berates herself, while you embrace, the thoughts that come with his cute trademark. Then he smiles. You are both surprised and you can now feel your pulse present. You like this scene. Perhaps you will watch it once more before you continue on to the rest of the episode. Retrospectively you realise this scene is a taste of what is yet to come and you wish, like Sara, to cherish each moment.


	4. The Much awaited scene

**A/N** This chapter has a significant decrease in the level of postmodern techniques used. I'm sorry for any mistakes. I have checked through but I did notice a few in the last chapter so I may have missed them here again. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. As always I hope you enjoy!  
  
**The much awaited Scene**

They head out of the lab together and drive to the suspects house in the department issued vehicle. They meet Brass there, ready to serve a warrant. Mr Hoyle is compliant. This was one of those straightforward cases where the perpetrator had not been overly careful. Luminol in the bathroom sink reveals blood and a quick inspection of the drain reveals some hairs, same colour as the victim, intact. Perhaps he had washed his hands here afterwards. The office reveals some paper work suggesting motive. All evidence is gathered waiting to be processed upon return to the lab. The suspect is arrested and joins them in the interrogation room. Sara and Brass work in tandem to question the suspect utilising the good cop/bad cop technique. Just as they are on the verge of giving up, Grissom enters, the DNA from the hair has been analysed and it matches the victim. The suspect and his lawyer exchange a few words, he confesses and is lead away in hand cuffs. We assume a deal will be made but we feel slightly safer for the moment all the same. This description may appear a little rushed and lacking in descriptive qualities. This is simply a device to move the plot along to where we want it. Sara and Grissom, in his office, talking. All good things come in time. We must be patient.  
  
Sara is heading out of the building, pleased with the success of their latest capture when her pager beeps. Looking down, she sighs as she slows and turns around. The page is from Grissom, wanting her to see him in his office. Technically she is yet to clock out and is required to respond. Not much longer to go now, she thought as she sighed again.  
  
Grissom had been wanting to talk to Sara for a long while. He had been doing some heavy thinking regarding his feelings towards her. He was scared, he admitted that now. While on some level he had realised he had always pushed Sara away from him, he had begun to analyse his motives. There had always existed the obvious, yet perhaps superficial reasoning; the age difference along with his hearing issues and then the employment situation. Logically, he knew that with minimal effort these could be overcome, what bothered him was the inherent fear that once he let himself, he would fall so far that if it ever ended, which he recalled happened in the vast majority of cases, he would have no chance of resurfacing. His analysis, however, revealed that he had neglected to incorporate one essential variable, he had already fallen.  
  
'Hey Griss, you paged?'  
  
He looked up from his paperwork over his glasses. He hadn't been sure if she would respond and a small part of him had hoped that she wouldn't, giving him another escape. You realise that this scene closely resembles one from the segment before the last ad break and all your senses tell you that this could be what you have been waiting for, the explanation leading to the resolution.  
  
'Please, Sara, come in. Close the door behind you. Take a seat.'  
  
She did as he asked. While she was apprehensive, she thought she had a good idea of what to expect from him.  
  
'Sara,' he began, rubbing the bridge of his nose, removing his glasses in the process. 'First off, despite all apparent evidence to the contrary, I don't want you leave, I need you to know that. That said, I am not going to try and make you stay. I don't really think I could or should. For what it's worth though, you have been an invaluable asset to this lab, not only as an outstanding CSI but also as a great friend to all of us here, even though I may not have shown it, I do appreciate you.' He paused. 'I've signed the transfer papers and all other documentation they requested. They want you there the day after tomorrow. You can take the time off, you've finished all your current cases. I also wanted to offer you my congratulations, supervisor Sidle.'  
  
They maintained eye-contact throughout his uncharacteristic speech and as he finished he smiled wanly at her. She returned the gesture without the bright spark that used to accompany.  
  
'Thanks. For everything. My time here, it's meant a lot to me. I wont ever forget it.' She had felt the need to explain everything to him but being there with him she realised that she didn't need to. They both understood each other. He knew, while he was a large part of her choice to leave, there were other mitigating circumstances that justified it just as much. She stood to leave and accordingly, he followed the movement. Just as she was at the door, with tears threatening to break free from the constraints of her eyes, she turned back toward him, quickly took a few steps and embraced him in a tight, warm thankyou hug. Slowly and unsure of himself, he wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her to him, allowing himself to simply hold her. They held each other for a long moment, inhaling each other's scent and imprinting the scene in their minds, before she lifted her head, allowing the tears to flow freely now and looked him in the eye.  
  
'You know that I love you right?' She let out in a soft whisper. He nodded his head slowly in affirmation and lifted his hand to cup her face allowing his thumb to brush away her tears.  
  
'I love you too Sara.'  
  
'Mmmm,' she accepted without any further response. 'Please don't tell anyone about any of this. I'll say bye to each of them in my own way.'  
  
'Of course,' he replied. With one last squeeze and a bittersweet smile from both parties, they separated and she walked out of his office for the last time, brushing the tears from her face as she went.  
  
As a loyal GS shipper your heart breaks with them. The only knowledge that keeps you tuned in is the memory of the now infamous scene, burnt in you brain, promising you a more satisfying resolution


	5. The now infamous scene revisited

**A/N** This is the last chapter. Sorry if it seems a bit rushed it sort of feels that way to me but I wanted to finish it.

**The now infamous scene revisited**

Grissom sat in his office staring at the door she had just left through. The ad-break and activities of the B-plot suggested a vast amount of time had passed since their confession of love and despite the mound of paperwork on his desk that seemed to multiply faster than bacteria, he found his mind refused to leave the reserve he had set aside for all things Sara Sidle. Why did it take Sara's leaving for him to acknowledge his feelings for her? Moreover, why was he still refusing to do anything about them? Surely those five words he had only just uttered to her in their last scene would lift the burden he felt when considering his relationship with her. But she was leaving. That meant he would not have to face his fears. It also meant he had lost any chance of happiness with her. You check your watch. and realise, yes there is just enough time for something more to happen. Suddenly his face reveals the epiphany he has just reached. He has nothing to lose. This epiphany is accompanied by a scene change in which his car is racing through an uncharacteristic Vegas thunderstorm as he makes his way instinctively to Sara's apartment block. Ah, the long awaited, now infamous scene is now upon us.

He jumps out of his car racing up the stairs through the torrential rain pour not bothering with trivial details, such as locking his car. As he reaches her door, the rush of adrenaline that accompanied him on his drive leaves as suddenly as I appeared, replaced with sever nervousness. He timidly raps his knuckles against the wooden panelling of the door. Upon receiving no response, he turns to leave. A momentary glimmer of the hope of what could be forces him to wait another fraction of a moment. He is rewarded with the slimmer of light that appears as the door cracks open allowing him access to treasure hidden within. Their eyes lock and his heart flutters at the fresh memory of her fierce hug. Fear is the emotion furthest from his mind as they lean in to experience the electricity of their first physical encounter. You are relieved to find the scene neither fades nor changes.

The chaste contact that has been burned into our minds ends as Grissom searches Sara's eyes for permission to continue to nurture the need buried deep within them both. The look of resignation that accompanies the passion and desire is enough to make him pull away. Sara's gaze drops to her feet. He has told he is not going to stop her from leaving and she is unsure what to expect from this encounter. He removes his hand from behind her back, where it has surreptitiously been coaxing an outbreak of Goosebumps by drawing lazy circles and brings it her face to cup her chin. It was time for another uncharacteristic explanation of emotion.

' Sara, I don't want you to leave but I don't want to stop you. I want to come with you. I don't want to pressure you. I have a lot of vacation time saved up. Can we try and start over. I've wasted so much time. I'm so sor...'

His apology is cut off by her mouth attempting to devour his. After an undeterminable length of time, they are forced by the need for oxygen to break contact. With their foreheads touching and their arms in a lover's embrace, they realise what they have always subconsciously been aware, "All things come to him who waits, provided he knows what he is waiting for." And they now knew what they had been waiting for.

The scene fades to black and the ad for next weeks episode plays followed by the credits. you can hardly believe the hour is over.


End file.
